“What’s Important”
The last two months have been tough for me. The surgery replacing my right knee went well, however, the time following has been difficult for a variety of reasons. I had my left knee replaced during Covid which meant I rehabbed at home and now have little recollection of any difficulties. This time a muscle strain here, an upset stomach there, a mind fog that precluded me reading which, now as I reflect back, is the most difficult to understand.
But ultimately, these are issues I know will lessen or disappear over time. At the same time this situation occupied my mind, my best friend from college was fighting a much bigger fight in a hospital in Pennsylvania. It’s frustrating to be far away.
After graduating from Duquesne with music degrees our lives took different paths. I married, divorced, and moved to Los Angeles. Peg moved to Eastern Pennsylvania, changed careers, and found the love of her life.
I’m not at all sure when we reconnected. (I’m guessing Peg has a better idea.) The important thing is that we did. Over the years, occasional cards were sent and received and eventually phone calls rekindled lively conversations and lots of laughter.
I decided to return to Pittsburgh for my fiftieth high school reunion, stay with my brother, and visit Peg. It had been decades since we had seen one another. There were two minor roadblocks which Peg solved with ease. One, I’m allergic to cats and Peg had several, so visiting inside her home was not possible. Tada! She arranged a picnic in her carport for our visit. Two, she had been confined to a wheelchair for years, so with the help of a neighbor, Peg transported fresh strawberries chilled over ice, M&Ms, chocolate chip cookies, bouquets of flowers from her garden, and a wonderful space for us to reminisce. I stopped at a local restaurant to pick up a cobb salad for me (my favorite) and a fish sandwich for her. (If you haven’t had a Pittsburgh fish sandwich, put it on your list!)
That afternoon was one of the best experiences of my life. We laughed, we cried, we remembered old jokes from our naïve college days. We reminded each other of moments long forgotten. Peg loved my mother’s Waldorf salad. I remembered the Raggedy Ann doll she had in her bedroom.
That moment in time was, and is, important to me. Talking on the phone is difficult now, dictated by her erratic hospital schedule, frustrated by the time difference. I send her cards, always with a Peanuts stamp, so she knows it’s from me before she even opens it. I always recognize Peg’s envelope because, thanks to her Catholic education, she has the most beautiful handwriting!
Wisdom does not necessarily come with age, but perspective triggers memories if you’re lucky. Now’s the time for me to not only look back but acknowledge moments in time that give this journey purpose.
How lucky I am that Peg and I stayed in touch. How lucky that we are friends. That’s what’s important.