3 WOMEN
Who influences us the most? Our mothers? Teachers? Friends? I suppose the answer is different for everyone. I find I haven’t been influenced so much by any one person specifically, but more often something that’s been said that gets my attention, that gets me thinking and then I take it from there.
Currently (and I say “currently” because I’ve been influenced by so, so many people over the years that the following three women are just the latest that got me “thinkin’”); Gloria, Kim, and Julie have caught my attention.
Julie (not her real name – not because she has anything to be ashamed of but because I haven’t contacted her regarding this post) just emailed me that she’s retiring from a very prestigious position at a major movie studio. We’ve been friends for years going back to when I first approached her about doing business with the film lab where I was working. I knew we’d hit it off when she told me flat out, “If I like you, we’ll do business together.” That kind of straight forward candor in the industry was, and is, refreshing.
One day while we were riding bikes through a Beverly Hills neighborhood, Julie said, “Well, since you don’t have children you probably don’t care about the future.” (okay – the real reason I changed her name.) I was stunned. Julie’s a bright woman but a less truthful statement could not have been uttered. Having or not having children or a plethora of grandchildren should have nothing to do with anyone’s concern for the world on so many levels.
Why is Julie one of my current 3 Women? Because she said those words at least twenty-five years ago and they still rattle in my head. How silly to categorize people by appearance or social status or monies made. How wrong we are to judge one another by attire or address or degrees. Julie got me thinking.
Kim Baker, journalist and war correspondent, is someone I’ve recently learned about after watching Tina Fey in “Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.” So maybe my number 2 woman is a combination Kim Baker/Tina Fey and maybe this is more a movie review because “WTF” was a blatant reminder that, oh, yeah, we have troops fighting every day and journalists putting their lives on the line to report back about what the troops are doing, and for the most part here in the states we’re more concerned about what covered dish to bring to the family 4th of July picnic. Not a big fan of war movies (too much glamour, not enough realism), this one worked for me. Tina proved she can pull off a dramatic role and be funny (no easy feat) and, even though the script differs from the book (it always will), Kim’s life on foreign soil in a rough and tumble country got me thinking.
Gloria Steinem – My Life on the Road. About a month ago I opened my mail box to find a book – an actual paper page-turning book – sent from a friend as a gift. Everyone knows of Gloria Steinem (well, not my 17-year-old grandniece who I’m forwarding my highlighted copy to), but name recognition hardly suffices as claiming to “know” someone. Not long after starting to read I closed the book and went to my office to find a yellow highlighter. It remained near the book and was used extensively as Gloria’s prose lent itself to being revisited after a chapter was read.
I’ve often thought I too was “living out the unlived life of my mother” but had never been able to think of the choices I have made, or the reasons I have made them, in precisely those words. Thank you, Gloria for opening up my heart and mind to pursuing that thought in the future.
There’s lots of history Gloria relates that reads more like present conversation in this autobiography, but no thought rings more true than her following observation: “…one of the simplest paths to deep change is for the less powerful to speak as much as they listen, and for the more powerful to listen as much as they speak.”
I think I fall into the former category and yet I’m “speaking” via this missive so I may need to do more listening.
One thing is certain. I’m learning more about myself and the world I live in. Thanks to these 3 Women I’m thinking.